i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my being single is dangerous.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
