My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
