dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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