sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
