She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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