I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
