why didn't you poke me back
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
