I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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