I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it glows. i had to have it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
