you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
