My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
