ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
