the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
