she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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