i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
