Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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