I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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