Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
