no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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