some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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