so explain again why im purple
no
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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