Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
