i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she peed on how many people?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
