I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
