I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
