he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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