He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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