it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize