I heard we made out
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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