1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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