I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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