He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
