found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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