FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
