we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
