hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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