So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
