Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Tell him ill love him long time

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  I'll assure him of it

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  (773): Tell him ill love him long time (1-773): I'll assure him of it http://tfl.nu/0jov
  Replies (3) Good night (1732) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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  (316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper (785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not. http://tfl.nu/pqqj
  Replies (32) Good night (3513) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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  (281): I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent http://tfl.nu/311d
  Replies (37) Good night (3329) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

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  (910): too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time. http://tfl.nu/w0g5
  Replies (17) Good night (4417) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

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  (864): I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen http://tfl.nu/n18y
  Replies (34) Good night (6998) Bad night (1591)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.

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  (937): We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard. http://tfl.nu/l7xl
  Replies (10) Good night (4126) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

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  (347): He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones. http://tfl.nu/swc2
  Replies (4) Good night (843) Bad night (2905)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.

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  (575): I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend. http://tfl.nu/kkwb
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (1508)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You rang?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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  (707): You rang? (405): Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone. http://tfl.nu/xnwm
  Replies (15) Good night (2452) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.

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  (678): I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding. http://tfl.nu/gais
  Replies (6) Good night (1712) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?

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  (856): I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong? http://tfl.nu/uyqh
  Replies (2) Good night (1473) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.

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  (407): I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up. http://tfl.nu/xd0y
  Replies (5) Good night (1873) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks

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  (603): Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks http://tfl.nu/ddr9
  Replies (10) Good night (504) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.

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  (540): Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography. http://tfl.nu/qwkw
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.

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  (717): So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel. http://tfl.nu/c4fx
  Replies (2) Good night (604) Bad night (292)

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