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Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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