just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dating After Heartbreak
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.