I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
