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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...

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• (646): View more from New York

  I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback

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• (512): View more from Texas

  we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (619): View more from California

  Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.

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