Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
