I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
