three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We need a shit load of segways right now
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There are leaves in my underwear?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize