Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont even know how to be here
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
