How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
