No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
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I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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