I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
