i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
