i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
