I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
