I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
