Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
