"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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