Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
