I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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