he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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