I love black thongs
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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