Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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