Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
