Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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