My first STD was from a foam party
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
