yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she pinky promised me she was 18
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
